uncertain

it’s 1:45 in the afternoon on a sunday. I’m home alone and time seems to pass rather slowly. I don’t know specifically what to say and I am not quite certain of how i feel,  too. I don’t want to be in a rut but it seems like my life loses dynamics. What I mean with that is that it seems like I am tied into something which prevents me to nurture all my connections. In the past couple of months I am all focused to my new job. I found it challenging therefore I wanted to get it right. Everything is generally okay with my work. I am starting to get the hang of it though there is still a lot to work on and to improve. Everyday is a new day on encompassing new challenges. The possibilities are endless.

Maybe what is lacking right now in my life is the strong connection with my family and friends. I do miss them a lot. During weekdays I am too tired during the day and too busy at night in the office. I miss Tatay and Mama, I miss ate Ophel and Ate Mir, i even miss our dogs. I miss home! And my tears start to well on my eyes now.

I know i can never have everything at a given time. I’ve got to choose something. I know my family is happy for me that I am doing well with my job. Well, I just miss them. Being away from them and not being able to communicate with them as often as I want to somehow make me sad.

There were days when I am all spent lying in my bed that I ask myself whether I am doing the right thing. Oh how i wish it’ll be the holiday season so that they’ll come over and be able to spend some time with them.

Really, no place will ever be like home. I miss mama’s gentleness and warm embrace. I will never outgrow the need for their presence. I am the happiest when I am with them.