So true

There are two articles I happened to read yesterday that we’re really interesting.

While I was searching through blogs I got curious what was Manila gay guy blog was all about so I opened it and browsed  Then, I opened an article written by John Lapus entitled “Bakla, Kawawa?”. It was very well written. It’s funny but true, and very sensible too. If you want to have some good laugh go ahead and read it.

The second one was from Peyups.com. I am a regular visitor of the site. The artiks there are very well written. They are for real and I can relate to most of them. However, new articles come far in between. The new article there that caught my attention was entitled “Generic Fiendliness”. Below is a quote from the article.

In social relationships, there also exist ‘generic’ medicines in the form of common friendliness. The hypothetical scenario I presented earlier depicts generic friendliness being put into action. The cute person who chatted with the loser earlier had a level of sincerity that can be considered as pang-masa, low-quality and even fake. Read the whole article

Singapore Grand Prix

The first ever F1 night race was held in Singapore, Sunday. Fernando Alonzo, Renault won the race. Kimi Raikkonen slammed over the side. Ferrari had a fatal mistake. The driver was signaled to go but the fuel hose was still attached.

Fernando Alonso. Photo taken from FernandoAlonso.com

out of nothing at all

It’s been three days that I have been consumed with my computer. Almost all the time I’m on the net. I wake up like past 7am, have my breakfast, take a bath and then I’ll be online. I keep on searching and learning on how I can make this blog look better and somehow be the extension of who I am. Maybe this is my way of expressing myself. I log out like past ten in the evening. I do eat and do some tasks in between. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised anymore if suddenly batukan ako ni ate kasi lagi akong nakaharap sa computer.hehe

Well, i just hope that she’ll understand that I am just having a great time online and that I am learning a thing or two anyway. In these past sessions little by little I get to be acquainted with the basic html codes and basically how to get around here on Word press. Hopefully I will not forget these things  and that I continue learning.

The internet has been my home in these three days. A lot of things opened up to me. However, my real world is somehow in reel. I am a little bored in the setting here. I barely get to see other people. It’s just me, Ate Chit, kids AC and Cedric and ate Loridel, Cedric’s nanny. And then there’s our neighbor who passes by once in a while. It’s like each one of us here is absorb in our own world. Ate is busy being the responsible mama she’s always been. AC as always is busy enjoying his childhood. Cedric being only two is still full of innocence. ate loridel keeps the household.

I miss the noise. Now as I am writing this entry, it’s so quiet out here. Cedric and ate loridel are asleep in the room. Ate Chit and AC are in school. Only the gentle whir of the CPU breaks the silence. So I turn the music player on and listen to Stephen Bishop and Sitti.

I am going to have classes again tomorrow. Hopefully I will not be late anymore. I can’t afford to be late again. Last last week we did not attend the class, last week I was late, I didn’t get to have the quiz. Tomorrow there’ll be another quiz. I know my day tomorrow will be more lively because I’ll be with my hyper classmates.

The Journey

in search

I’m in search for the best blog for me. Typical of me. Never contented. Always in search. I find word press too fomal. I find it inappropriate for me to put very personal entries. I find multiply too cutesy. My windows live space is just there hanging on the space.  I will reborn my blog spot.

Actually i am just looking for the blog that is personal, where I can really express myself and where I can put in raw my take on life.

But i will never abandon this PAMbihira site here on wordpress. It will always be my baby.

I really love to write. It is something I would like to do all the time although I know my writing skills are far from good. Although Jerome tease me because i write my posts mostly in English I am not satisfied. When I read other blogs written by others most are younger than me they are way way better.

Whatever they say I will continue to write in English so that hopefully I may improve. Besides I am writing as a form of escape, hobby or recreation whatever you call it and not as a way to please anyone. Please forgive me if you don’t find it okay but that’s the way it is.

my blogspot blog screenshot

After two and half hours….

It wasn’t as easy as I’ve thought. Editing the template was fussy. It entails a lot of messing around with the HTML and xml. I need a lot of time and effort to come up with a really creative and personalized blog. I think it would be better if I’ll settle on word press and in multiply for that creative juices for the mean time.

After another 2 hours…

Haha ang lakas q! I registered this blog at topblogs.com and technorati!LOL. As if there are a lot of people who view.  Well I am just exploring, sooner or later I’l take it off. ^^

Blast from the past

I consider myself sentimental. I often find myself looking back into the past especially on the good things, the laughter, joy and especially the people who touched my life. There are many things that have become an integral part of my growing years. There are things that instantly remind me of the life I had, and that molded me into what I am today.

Ermita outing last Tuesday

http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/464807

This is the link to our photos during our lunch out in Ermita last Tuesday. I did enjoy myself. Being with you my classmates is always a source of fun and happiness. Also included are the photos last Friday, when we had our pizza date in Bay’s Inn. There are also some pictures ng mga pinakamamahal na mga lalaki sa buhay ko! Sina AC at Cedric! Kala nyo siguro kung sino na ano?haha…Basta  Guys no matter what don’t let anyone divide and conquer us, alright? ^^

cobwebs in my heart

I am feeling something that I can’t put an exact name into. But one thing’s certain fear is among them.

I’m beginning to be afraid for my life. Reality hits me big time now. Life is not one big party. The dreams I’ve woven since childhood will never ever unfold before my eyes like a movie either. I will not achieve something unless I work on it. Nobody can help me more than myself. I am beginning to get tired of childish plays.

I admire people who know what they want and where they’ll go, people who have their own way of living their lives but they are perfectly alright.

tgif

Kuha ito nung friday, Sept. 19 sa Bay’s Inn. Napagkasunduan namin na mag unwind sa beach pati na rin ang kumain ng pizza. Nandun din pala sina ma’am at sir. Nagpapicture kami kasama sila para may “remembering”

Stolen Life

“When you are in a dangerous place, and you refuse to see the truth, no one can make you understand”

Apologize

Alas siyete na pero siyet wala pa rin akong matinong nagagawa. No work done yet. Waah..d q yata kaya ang gumawa ng walang supervision pano na lang ang pangarap ko na maging freelancer. Imbes na magsulat ng mga seryoso at pormal na artikulo para sa publikasyon pagkalkal sa net ang pinagkakaabalahan ko mula pa kagabi. Ang saya kasi maghanap parang treasure hunting. Madami akong nahanap na free software at online services. Bigla yata akong na migrate sa exploration age. Sa ngayon ang pinagkakaabalahan ko ay pano gamitin ung nadownload ko na Microsoft One Note. Trial version nga lang. Wala ako mahanap na crack nung full version. Hanep itong one note. Ganda ng user interface. Sana ganahan na ako gumawa ng work work.

Mag lulunes na naman. Baka magkita kami ni Pres. Sigurado kakamustahin niya kung ano na happenings sa The Voice. Masaya sana kung may maganda akong maibabalita like “we’re almost done sir”. Pero syempre hindi ganun. Unless my superpowers ako na makuha ko lahat ng kailangan kong mga impormasyon at magawan na ng write ups. Waah…pano naman kasi di pa sila nagpapasa ng assignments nila way past the dead line na. Ito na nga ba sinasabi ko e. Sisi mode pa. Di pwede un. I gotta work. Inspirasyon please!!!

Heto na naman ako nawawalan na naman ng direksyon sa buhay. Di pwede. I gotta be strong. I’ve got to make things happen. I cant afford to lose the battle this time.

Hindi kasi ako sobrang strong willed pagdating sa mga official duties. Tama ba. Siraan ba sarili. hayyyssss..

Pano ako yayaman nito. Hehe. Mas enjoy kasi maglakwatsa sa net. kung san san ako nakakarating. And mind you kahit pano madami naman ako natututunan. Yun nga lang di ko naman natatapos yung dapat kong gawin. Hay totoo nga yata mas masarap gawin ang hindi dapat.

Alam ko isa yun sa mga kahinaan ko. Mahilig ako sa mamaya na lang yan. Hindi ako sobrang strict sa schedule. Kaya nga madalas ako late sa pagpasok. Pero di pa naman sagad sa buto yang mga ganyan kong characteristics. Kapag ginusto kong baguhin magagawa ko naman.

Ngapala, habang nagbblog ako hihintay ko matapos yung dinadownload ko na cover version ng “Apologize”. Maya emote-an sigurado. Lupit ng lyrics non!

“Apologize”

I’m holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I’m hearin what you say but I just can’t make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d turn around, and say…

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late

I’d take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it’s nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it’s turning blue, and you say…
“Sorry” like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I’m afraid…

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late

Survivor Philippines

One of my favorite reality show ever, Survivor, has now a local version. It’s been running since monday but i’ve only happened to get a look tonight. When I’ve seen an ad of it before i thought it would be shot here in our country but it isn’t. The setting is in Thailand. As what we can expect the show’s packed with the good ‘ol tv recipe. The looks. Yeah right all of the contestants are good looking, especially Kiko. hehe. He’s got the bohemian look. I like the dreads.

Im gonna watch the show. I hope it would be as good as the international versions.

blog…

6:59am, @home, SL

I should be getting ready for school and yet im still doing this blog stuff. Maybe im being so self indulgent. But writing from a personal viewpoint is really is. At this point in time how i wish that i am already away from college so that i can decide on what to do in my entire time. Given such opportunity i might like to do blogging all the time. I know i am fetus in its first day of the first trimester awaiting to be born in the womb of the vast blogosphere. But still i am patient. I am willing to keep on until my skills are honed. Until now I am in the stage of finding my niche.

But what are my interests really. Cars? Perhaps. But i aint so knowledgable about it yet. Cars fancy me but most of its technicality still eludes me.  What makes me hit the keyboard effortlessly and with a graceful speed when in fact im such a lousy typist right from the start? Well when i write right from the heart. When I am being brutally and coldy honest on saying what’s really in my mind.

I know writing is my world. I just got caught off in a storm and had me stranded to the world of i.t study. But still i am still dreaming that someday I get the opportunity to explore this love of mine. I know i have the inclination i just need good intervention. I want that someday i can affect other people in a positive way through my writing. I want to influence them to do good. I want to make them happy. I want a smile be painted upon their face just by reading the words i have crafted from my own cluttered soul.

It is not yet too late for my love affair for writing to blossom, isn’t it? I wish that after graduating from college i get the opportunity to have a formal study about it. I really love it. I want that someday my writing would affect my reader the same way that i am affected everytime i read moving articles from other writers.

It maybe a cliche but i still believe that the pen is mightier than sword.

I wish that in the future i can make my ends meet by the profit i get from the job that i love doing. When we love what we do it is no longer work anymore, isnt it. It would be so much fun and each working hour would be just like a walk in the park.

breathing space

I’ve just came home from school. I feel tired. Just thinking of the handful of things that i need to do I already feel so. If only I can get away for a while have some quiet time in a quiet place i know for sure I’ll be so fine. Yet i can’t do it this time. Anyway that’s life. There are things that doesn’t come as easy as I wish that it would be. For sure when this is over and i am able to get it done well it would be very rewarding.

I pray that God would continue to guide me and give me strength, good health and the right attitude. I really want to make it well on my studies and in the publication this time. If i would fail at any of those i would be so sad. Please help me.

>>pam 7:37pm

on and on…

Its 6:22 am. I took time to write while i am waiting for my database requirement to be attached on the email. I had a busy night. I slept late and woke up early to finish the requirement. Now i can say that we’re having some acad mode.

However, because of the many things that keep me busy I haven’t found time to really work on the publication. Im afraid we’re running out of time. I think there are still many long nights ahead of me. I would really like to finish the magazine and literary folio. I could use as much help as i can get. Hope things would be favorable for this project. I really wanna do it well. Please help me.

Being 21 i think is great. I am happy that things are getting on the right perspectives. I wanna have focus on my studies and in the publication.

I hope that this sem would end brightly for me so that my sembreak would be worry free. I know there’ll gotta be a whole lot of fun waiting for me come sem break.

benteuno>>>

I had a blast on my bday. salamat sainyo. bsit4blk2 and my family..

may hang over pa q..more kwn2 coming up..:)

9/14/08 9:24am

@ 21 continued

9/14/08 9:33pm

Eto na po ang mga kwento ko tungkol sa mga nagdaang pangyayari. O ayan Alvin Sibulburo Filipino gamit ko.  When i’m in a serious mode i speak in english just like during the times that i was writing my previous posts. Medyo may pagka emo yung mga nakalipas na weeks sa akin. Mula nung last day ng Intrams at mejo sad pa rin in some aspect until i’ve came back from manila.

Pero ngayon it has changed. Light and happy na ang mood ko. No birthday blues this time! yeah boy! hehe.

Salamat sainyong lahat. Dahil sainyo di malungkot ang birthday ko.

Click mo lang itong link na ito kung gusto mo pa makita mas madaming pix ^^

http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/457958

21

It’s 24 minutes past 12. It’s officially the 13th day of September. Birthday ko na. Anne, Annie, Aimee, Aicie, and Yorick are here with me in our house. We’re doing the database project. All have fallen asleep except for me and Aimee. Binati nila ako kanina. Medyo napaaga. Mga 11:54. Si Justin sakto, 12:0, sa YM, Si Darwin 1:15, YM din. Salamat sa inyo!

I don’t know exactly how I feel pero may pagkamelancholic. Medyo malungkot kasi pinapakinggan namin na music. Only Love of Stephen Bishop is what’s currently playing.

Basta… I am very thankful to Him. Kahit hindi man ako kasing saya ngayon tulad ng dati I can still remember how good the feeling was during those times. I just wish that all the things na medyo nagpapalungkot sa akin na lumipas na. I miss the happy me. I wish that He gives me the courage and strength to let go of the things that are already gone, that I may be able to accept the changes. I want to set myself free from all the things that are beyond my control.

On my birthday I wish for:

> Health and happiness of my family especially of my parents. I love them so much although I rarely or almost never tell them so. I am very thankful for having them. They’ve always been supportive of me. Sana someday magtagumpay ako. I know my success will be a relief to them and will make them happy. I also wish that my brothers and sisters are safe wherever they are. I miss them all. Its been a while that i have been with them. Sana magkitakita tayong lahat soon, kumpleto. Dont forget that your youngest sis always remembers you.

> Success sa mga pinagkakaabalahan ko sa buhay. Sa The Voice, sa school projects.Sana matapos ko ng maayos itong sem na ito at ang susunod na sem. I hope that our instructors would be very reasonable and supportive to us.

> Continued real and strong bond with all my friends. Whatever happens I will always be a friend. I am keeping my promise “Once a friend, always a friend”.

> I also wish for good health for myself. I am a person who loves to dream. And those dreams would come true given with good health.I dream to drive to work in a nice car and to go to places someday and other things. Hindi naman sa materialistic ako kundi dahil dreaming drives me to continue life. It gives me something to look forward to. But still i make it a point that i dont overlook the things that are here in my present. Here’s a poem I’ve written about a month ago.

Wishful thinking

If I would be rich
I will travel the world
I will go to Africa and be bold
I will sail from coast to coast

If I would be rich
I will drive a yellow Corvette like an F1 racer
I will beat the red light in Makati
I will swerve through the traffic freely

If I would be rich
I will play golf with the royalty
Then we will watch tennis played in clay
Afterward we will sip chardonnay

If I would be rich
I will dive with the sharks in Tubbattaha
Then watch the sunset by my private villa
While sipping piña colada

Database

It’s 11:30pm. Annie Vi, Yorick, Anne and Aimie are here with me in our house. We are doing some school projects. They are busy with our database. Earlier I have finished the story line for the role play in another subject.

Its 4 days before my birthday. countdown talaga no.

Philippine Youth 4 I.T Convention

Last Monday,Sept.1, I and my father went to Manila. On Tuesday i learned that my classmates were also going there to attend the I.T Congress. Since I was already there I decided to join them and to attend the convention too. On Wednesday, I and my father waited for them in Cubao. By 3pm we were already together. I stayed with them at QC because the house of my brother is far from UP. Its in Boni Serrano.

On thursday and friday we went to UP for the convention. My one week stay in manila was remarkable. I’ve learned a lot not only from the conference but on the whole experience itself. We roamed through the city with our friends during our free time.

so we dreamnt..

aimee and me

tin, me and chery at starbucks e.rod

090808 6:45PM

Even though I have so many academic stuffs to do, I still first make time to write out here on my blog. Doing so is my relief. It relaxes me and helps me sort out the things that I have in my mind.

I went home early today. By 1 in the afternoon I was already home. I was still feeling tired. I spent the hours that followed curled up in bed. I tried several times to get up and start doing things but I still can’t. I happened to be really awake and active at four in the afternoon.

I did my laundry. The funny thing about me when I laundry is that my mind’s fully functioning. Thoughts and ideas flow continuously in my brain. Maybe it just shows that I don’t really like doing laundry. It’s my subconscious way of telling that “hey, I have more important things to do, I am not supposed to be doing this stuff” But I never made an effort ever since so that I will not wash my own clothes anymore because I think if I can’t handle doing it and making time for it how am I ever supposed to expect myself to be responsible about other things. Laundering is included in my long term goals and success barometer. If the time comes that I can afford to pay for it, it means that I have somehow reached something.

These are some of the thoughts that crossed my mind while I was taking off the dirt on my clothes…

Will it be a happy birthday for me?

Since Sept.13, 2007, I wished and hoped that I will have the best next birthday. My 20th birthday which was last year was kind of blue. I chose not to have my own celebration to save the cash and since because I happened to share the same birthday with the daughter of our close family friend. Because of it they had me as her god mother. They invited us over to join her party. It was a happy celebration but then when I got home I felt so lonely. I missed my family so much and also my friends. I felt so alone. I told myself I don’t want to have this same kind of birthday anymore. A birthday should be a day of celebration to give thanks to Him for giving the opportunity to live. It should be a celebration of the greatest gift, Life. My brothers and sisters greeted me through text and even some phone call but still I was sad. I miss their presence. I also missed the jitters of my friends. I had birthday blues perhaps. I can still picture how I was that time. I leaned my head in my arms folded against the computer desk. My pc was on but I wasn’t doing anything. I was just holding my phone. I never even helped it to shed some tears. Yes, I know, it was so emo of me. Later that night I went to my friend who was just in the neighborhood to mend the sadness. We came to decide to have a drink. We bought a bottle of red wine.